Partners in Crime
by Dani McLean
Summary: All the gods knew that Hermes was a prankster. They all knew that he would do just about anything for a laugh, no matter the consequences. What they didn't know is that he doesn't work alone. [OneShot]


**Unfortunately, I do not own Percy Jackson nor the Olympians. They've been on my birthday list for years yet my ignorant parents are still under the impression that I'm am capable of "kidding" when it comes to matters of such significance.**

**This story is a little bit of history for my other oneshot, ****_The Last Olympians_****. They aren't very related, though, so you don't have to read one to understand the other.**

Partners in Crime

"Dija 'ear 'bout baby Hermes?!" Aphrodite chatted, always being the first to gossip. "He stole Zeus's lightning bolt! Just 'bout blew himself up, not to mention Olympus!"

"Interesting," Athena nodded. She had grown accustomed to tuning out the goddess as soon as the words "Dija 'ear" left her mouth.

"Thena? Yoo-hoo. Are you ignoring me again?" She narrowed her eyes at the much less interested party. "I'm serious. You could've died! Well, ish anyway."

"If your grammar doesn't kill me first," Athena muttered dryly.

"Ha. Ha. Fun-nee." Aphrodite rolled her multicolored eyes. "And they say nerds can't joke." After a moment of no retort, she jumped right back into her topic. "All I'm saying is that we better hide any valuables now. He'll be quite the little troublemaker."

Without taking her eyes away from her weaving, Athena replied, "Yes, I suppose so."

Losing what little patience she had, Aphrodite left in search of a more engaged audience. She hadn't realized that the far off look in her companion's eyes was far more relevant than she was letting on.

.o*O*o.

"I propose that we–" Demeter was cut off midsentence when the doors to the Olympian council room banged open. In strode an enraged looking war god.

"Found him!" Aphrodite exclaimed happily from her throne.

Artemis raised an eyebrow at her brother's attire but thought it best to keep her opinions to herself. His usual battle armor was a bright shade of pink and had white spots scattered over it. A closer inspection revealed that they were indeed flowers. _How appropriate_, the huntress mused.

"HERMES!" _Ah, that explains it._ "I _WILL_ KILL YOU THIS TIME!"

Zeus just sighed from his seat at the head of the throne room. He was far too used to this behavior by now. "We'll talk more about what's been invading your garden next time, Demeter. Meeting dismissed."

"Hermes," Athena said sharply just as Ares was about to launch himself at him. She had a way of making her voice heard throughout the room without ever raising it to a yell. "May I have a word with you." It wasn't a question.

Hermes scrambled away from the infuriated god of war, making his way towards Athena. His eyes darted around nervously as he was lead from the room, catching a sympathetic look from Apollo. Having sat through many of them, he knew exactly what these talks usually implied.

The goddess strode down a long corridor, not having to look behind her to know that her target followed. They always did.

She stepped into a small room, the very last one in the dead end hallway, and swiftly shut the doors to close off the rest of the world.

Hermes gazed up into her unreadable eyes expectantly. For a long moment, they stood in silence.

Unable to take it anymore, he burst into laughter, Athena quick to follow. They laughed until tears streamed down their cheeks. Hermes was practically rolling on the floor.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" he sputtered between breaths.

Athena tried to compose herself. "That was close. You nearly got yourself killed."

Despite knowing how close he was to getting punched flat, Hermes knew it was worth it. The look on his face…

"We need a better plan this time." Athena was already moving onto the next plot. Too much time together alone would raise suspicions. "We need to pin it on someone else. I was thinking" (Hermes rolled his eyes. When was she not?) "about replacing Aphrodite's shampoo with a potion. Hecate has always despised her anyway and she won't be on Olympus to defend herself right away. By the time it gets all sorted out, Aphrodite would have already forgotten why she was mad in the first place."

"Genius," Hermes awed, displaying that lopsided grin of his.

Athena smiled back. "I figured you could pick which potion."

"Now the tricky part is stealing the potion from Hecate. If she finds out, I'll live out the rest of my very short life as a hamster." He shuddered from bitter memories.

"I thought you made a rather cute hamster."

Her brother rolled his eyes. "Of course I did. I can make any look work. I just happen to prefer this one. Why fix it if it's not broke, right?"

With that, the unlikely pair launched into planning their next big idea. This strange little deal of theirs worked quite well. Athena would plan it, Hermes would carry it out. He would receive all the credit, she would be dealt no blame.

**Please review. **


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